4.28.2005

My line of work

I'm sitting in the cockpit of the Slave 1 as I write this. She's on auto, slowly wading into a new system who's nav info I don't happen to have stored in the Navacomputer. This means it will take awhile to get where I'm going as I don't exactly want to come screaming into unknown territory at lightspeed. I might bounce to close to a supernova or something, and that would end my trip real quick wouldn't it?

So anyway, that leaves me with some time to sit here and ponder things. I've received a fair amount of email since I started this thing and I suppose I might as well respond to some of it while I wait to get down to my target planets surface. A lot of the email has been about my chosen profession, and how "evil" it is... and how I should really apply my talents to something "better". In person, the short response to that sort of annoying comment would likely be a quick shot from my sawed off EE-3 blaster rifle... typically to the forehead, supposing the offending creature had one. When I don't have access to a being who's made such a stupid comment my best response is two words;

Sod off.

I mean really people, what would you have me do here? I'm the single most feared bounty hunter in the entire galaxy. I've worked for Lords and Presidents, company CEO's and famous entertainers. I've travelled from one end of the galaxy to the other, offing people left and right as my contracts outlined, and often times in ways they didn't. My entire life has been dedicated to ending the lives of others WHEN I'm paid for it... or occassionally when someone pisses me off. I see nothing wrong with that at all.

Look at it form my point of view. As I see it, there is no such thing as good or evil. No one wakes up in the morning and says "I think I'll do some evil today!", instead they do what's best for them. "Evil" comes in when what's best for me, happens to be not what's best for you. If for instance you hire me to take care of someone for you and I do it, you'd be happy and pay me accordingly. (You'd damned well better anyway). If on the other hand someone else hired me to kill you, well you'd be far less happy about it lets just leave it at that. So, evil is relative and that being the case good must be as well. So if there is no good or evil then clearly I can't be doing anything that bad now can I? I'm simply taking advantage of my talents and positioning myself in between two opposing parties for profit. That I invariably end up killing one of those parties is a moot point, the key is that it's got to be done and it's not an inherently evil thing. It's just business. Well ok, I enjoy the hell out of it too but that's besides the point.

So there's my philosophy on my line of work, take it or leave it but don't bother me about it. If anyone just doesn't get it yet, email me or make a comment here. Perhaps I can educate you. If you don't get it after a few attempts then leave your full address and a time I can reach you... I'm much more persuasive in person.

Time to go, I'm pulling into orbit and will have to find a decent place to land on this forsaken piece of rock in a bit. I hate these swampy places, but a job's a job and the money... it's good.

Remember, as I always say... stay out of trouble, but if you can't stay out of it, shoot it in the face.

- Boba

Honest work?

A comment in my previous post needs replying to I think. It seems someone thinks I should seek out "more honest" employment and just leave Solo and his friends alone especially since I'm supposedly "free of employment". Let Solo go? Let a contract (either present or former) walk, just because I don't feel like nailing him? Not very likely, let me explain;

A man like myself is never free of employment, I'm the most sought after bounty hunter in the galaxy and I'm not the sort to walk away from a challenge or a stack of credits.

It's interesting you offer to have my "record" wiped clean, as it implies you have some sort of credentials with Corsec that would allow you to do so. That makes you very likely to be a corporate weasel as far as I'm concerned, connected in business and ready to let others do the work while you take the money. Now while I can relate to the desire for fame and money (yes, I have a lot of both), I can't relate to anyone who sits inside their whole lives getting others to do the dirty work for them. I do my own dirty work, and I don't like corporate.

As for looking for "more honest work" and letting that shithead Solo get away with no repercussions? Neither is going to happen. I look a man in the eyes when I kill him, so he knows who did it.. if not why. I can't think of a single more honest profession than that. I am dearly looking forward to doing so with Solo.

Now enough about that. Perhaps one of your competitors will have some work for me sometime in the future, and I'll come see you in person... until then...

On a side note, you might be interested to know that Jabba was still alive after Solo and his crew ran off to hide. After Dengar found me lying otuside the Sarlaac we wandered around for a bit looking over the remains his the Sail Barge for anything worth taking. We were both a little surprised to find Jabba inside it's smashed remains, barely alive. It appeared someone had tried to choke him to death but all they managed to do was make him pass out for lack of air. Obviously an amateur as anyone in the business knows you've got to go on strangling someone for a good while after they stop moving to make sure the job is done. Especially a fat bastard like Jabba.

Regardless, he wasn't in very good shape when we found him and all he could do was lay there looking pathetic begging for help. He offered us money and goods if we saved him, but by that point I was just pissed off. If I wanted anything he had I could just take it, and I did, to compensate me for the trouble of the day. So my day ended up pretty good despite everything, while Jabba's day ended decidedly differently.

Remember I said the Sarlaac stunk inside? That was nothing compared to Jabba's innards.

Sarlaac etc

It's been awhile since many of you last saw me, and no doubt many of you assumed I was dead. Some know better of course.

In fact lets get that out of the way right now shall we? I was not killed on Tatoonine while chasing after Solo and his pathetic friends. Let's just say the Sarlaac found me somewhat indigestable, and to go a bit further lets just say the Sarlaac won't be digesting much of anything for the rest. of. it's. life. I hated that thing, but you haven't experienced disgust until you've fallen in to the Sarlaac on a hot afternoon. The stench in there is unbelievable.

To make a long story short, due to an equipment malfunction brought about by that miserable bastard Han Solo, I ended up inside this Sarlaac thing enjoying it's unpleasant odor and foul stench first hand. It seems that it expected me to just lay there and become an appetizer as all of the other hopeless beings who fell victim to it did... but seriously, the Sarlaac didn't have a chance. Once down there I found it to be shaped like a giant funnel... made out of meat if you take my meaning. Bodies and assorted moaning idiots were slowly being sucked down into a mouth like hole in the center where they'd presumably be pulled farther inside the beast for digestion. It took me no time to realize that if the bottom of this meat-funnel like thing is where the food goes, then there are probably some vital organs down there as well. Now I'm not going ot get into specifics here as frankly, I'd just rather forget about all the details... but I was able to insert myself in this creature's... orifice... in such a way as to allow me to get off a few well placed blaster shots into it's disgusting innards. Once that was done I was left with a relatively easy climb out and that was that. Oh, I did kill a few of the guards and whatnot that had fallen in before I left. Perhaps I was doing them a favor, but more likely I just had the urge to kill someone.

At any rate, I got out and just laid in the sand for awhile. Jabba's barge had long since been destroyed with Solo and his gang doing their typical "run and hide while we can" bit. I really hate those people. After awhile fellow bounty hunter Dengar happened across me and got me back to my ship. I was good to go again in a few days, though my armor stunk like Sarlaac for weeks afterwards. I'm going to take the cleaning bill for that out of Solo's ass one day, mark my words.

I've been rather busy since then, mostly looking for Solo but taking on a fair number of interesting side projects as well. My contract with the Empire more or less ended when it did, but as it happens there are still some things cooking on that front too. Evil is like that, there's always opportunity.

More later, I've got some Hunting to do.

Testing uplink

Just seeing if Traynor set this thing up properly. Not that there's anything he could do about it considering he's dead and all.