5.02.2005

A little sob story

It's sad how, when a beings life is threatened they often become totally passive. That's the one moment when someone really needs to crank it up a notch and kick some ass, but it often just doesn't work that way.

Take my latest job for instance on the entirely too overgrown world of Dxun in the Onderon system. Everyone knows what a jungle looks like but I'm here to tell you... you want hot, sweaty steaming jungle, you want Dxun. What a shitty place. Anyway, I'm there looking for one Milros Jaxtner who apparently thought going into hiding on such a remote planet would be a good way to lay low and avoid getting caught out. He obviously hadn't factored me into the picture.

So he's there with half a dozen of his body guards just being cool, completely content in the fact that he's "safe". That feeling changed dramatically when I walked into the circle of their little campfire and immediately killed two of his guards. Jaxtner and his remaining four guards jumped up, with Jaxtner himself remaining out of reach while the other four rushed me. What a blast that was. The first died rather unpleasantly (for him... I had fun) with my wrist mounted vibro-blade stuck in his face. The second took several shots from my blaster in his chest and fell wounded onto the fire, where he proceeded to ignite and die a slow painful death sometime later in the jungle, into which he ran screaming. By this time, the remaining two thought a ranged attack would be better so they hid over near their ship which was parked in a clearing nearby with Jaxtner already cowering on the other side of it. He'd managed to fire off a few shots at me while I dealt with the others, but somehow I was already feeling his heart just wasn't in it. With no clear angle for a shot on the other two guards I fired up my jet pack and flew up above them, firing all the while to keep their heads down. As I went over I dropped a small thermal detonator between them and their ship which went off as I'd planned and not only wasted the two losers still firing at me, but severly crippled the ship as well. In what I must say was a very cool move, I reversed direction and landed a little way past the burning ship, right in front of the now fleeing Jaxtner. I am so awseome.

So there we are. Me, six dead body guards, a burning ship and Jaxtner. He's on his knees now, begging me to spare his life. All the standard nonsense about how he'll pay me double whatever my contract stipulated if I'll just let him live. Wife and kids to feed... blah blah blah. He should have considered all that before he pissed off the Ralovac Corporations Executive Board by stealing trade secrets and selling them to the competition. Of course, I didn't care about what he'd done, I was just there to finish my business and get out to collect my fee.

So he whines, and begs and tries to bribe me but I was having none of it. In fact, his prattling was getting on my nerves so much I thought I'd have a little fun with him. To make a long story short he was physically unable to speak in short order, but he could still run pretty fast. I let him charge off into the jungle gurgling blood until I tired of the whole thing and shot him in the back of the head. Keep in mind he was a good ways away at that point and not exactly running in a straight line. POP! I got him square in the back of the head. As I said, I'm so compltely awesome.

So as I started saying above, it is absolutely beyond me why most beings turn into such snivelling morons when faced with their ultimate demise. I mean for crying out loud, you're about to buy the moisture farm here man, stand up and defend yourself. The worst that's going to happen is that I'll kill you, but guess what? I'm going to do that anyway so you might as well go out with a bang. Sheesh, I just don't get some people. I don't get most people come to think of it. bah.

So I'm back onboard the Slave I now and working my way out of this lousy system to collect my pay. I've brought the
Ralovac Corporation's exec's back a little proof of the kill, I hope they don't have white carpets.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, what's the worst job you've ever had to do Mr. Fett? I mean, you probably don't care about the ethics of killing people and whatnot, but what job is the worst one? Ever had to kill a bunch of little kids or puppies? Ever taken a contract on some rich kid's History of Modern Corellia professor?

04:15  
Blogger Darth Sidious said...

who kicks more ass?

Jango Or Bobba?
Or...
Canderous?

06:59  
Anonymous Vork the Terrible said...

I get the same thing in my line of work. Why do people honestly expect that their whining and pleading will have any effect?

I've seen armed starships resort to whining and pleading before shooting. I've seen armed men beg for their lives when we boarded. It makes no sense to me. I'm Vork the Terrible, I built my entire reputation on slaughtering entire crews, commandeering ships, and marooning a single survivor to tell the tale. Well. That, and the usual looting and pillaging that any self-respecting pirate does.

Do they all expect to be the one to win the mortality lottery? Is that why they whine helplessly rather than fight? Do they really think it's going to help? A desperate blaster shot is much more effective than a desperate plea. It baffles me.

18:05  
Anonymous Jodo Kast said...

yes, i would like to know about your worst job ever, i dont know why. I Guess i just wanted to see if You are really as cruel as people say.

19:39  

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